My friends in the computer

Dear Max

Below is from my latest editor’s letter from Living & Loving, which I *need* to share here too. I know it may sound odd that I have found friendship online, among people, many of whom I’ve never met, but these peeps often “get” me and kind of know us more than many of our real-life peeps. Odd. But true. And wonderful.

“I’m privileged to have lots of mommy friends in real life, and those on Twitter, Facebook and blogs who not only make me feel normal, but who are there to support me with every new tooth, guilt-ridden moment and 2am wakeup. Many of my best “friends” in the computer I’ve never met, but I feel we know each other really well, from our kids’ names and food preferences, to our hobbies and most best TV shows. We share our kids’ pictures and ogle over them, commiserate when one of our children has a fever, and celebrate each other’s milestones as if they were our own. We swap advice, dream about Saturday afternoon naps, and give a heads-up on the latest clothing sales.

The moms who I connect with are similar to me, I guess, in the fact that we’re all sometimes stumbling along, doing our best, never claiming we’re perfect and not shy to admit when we’ve given our kids cereal for supper, or gone a week without washing their hair. But what’s best is that we don’t judge each other for any of it, and that’s what makes it a unique and comforting connection, even if it is a cyber one, or via a Smartphone.
It would be so easy to judge another mom for co-sleeping with her children when it’s not your viewpoint, or be critical towards a mother for “only” breastfeeding for a month while you did so for a year, or get angry when kids get the naughty step when you’d never do that. Motherhood is tough, but it’s made easier with each other’s support, nurturing and, when called for, a sense of humour.

To the moms I know face-to- face, and to those in the computer, thank you for the connections and compassion. I hope I can offer the same.”


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9 responses to “My friends in the computer”

  1. taniar2 says :

    My friends in the computer keep me sane and make me laugh!

  2. alambchop says :

    What a lovely post! Going to assume you’re talking to me ;P

  3. MomAgain@40 says :

    Totally agree! I have found wisdom, LOTS of humour and the knowledge from my friends in the computer: We are not alone/bad/crazy in our parenting techniques, because there are lots of other mothers doing the same as us!

  4. Sharon says :

    I would not have survived my 7+ year battle with infertility and recurrent miscarriages nor the difficult transition to motherhood after adoption if it weren’t for my “friends in the ‘puter”! They were and are my life line!

  5. To Love Bella says :

    I had a huge smile on my face when I read this in the mag and nodded knowingly. Isn’t it just amazing the support that you get from women you have never – or may never – meet? I have grown to love some of these women I have met SO dearly.

  6. samcy says :

    Friends in the computer definitely have their special place in our hearts. All too often they get us when our real life friends don’t. I love how our world has opened up thru cyber space – connections one would never have had otherwise are there and tangible. SO cool.


  7. nickistormdadic says :

    I love this! There are “some” of my friends who I wish could STAY inside the computer. Not you though … you’re FAB! x

  8. suestuart says :

    Absolutely agree! I discovered “friends in the computer” late in my IF journey, but oh what a relief to find people who “got” me! And now that Katy is here, it’s unbelievably helpful to know that others are going through the same battles/anxieties/stresses. And when their little ones reach a milestone or bring a smile or any of the many things that make patrenthood a joy, it’s great to be able to share in it 🙂

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