Cruise control

Dear Max

After last night’s (or rather morning) early wake-up for the second night in a row, for no apparent reason, I realise how little I control. For there I was, expecting seven hours of sleep, while my running clothes lay ready for a 5am run. And there you cried at around 3am, wanting attention until almost 6am, and my well-laid plans were dashed. And you know what? It was okay. I did other exercise, I drank lots of tea, and I spread on the undereye concealer to hide the dark rings.

And this isn’t a post on “wow, I’m so cool”, but rather one on how much you’ve taught me. You’ve chillled me out immensely, you’ve taught me how to think out the box, and you’ve shown that it’s pointless being a slave to time or plans.

I used to panic when I didn’t have full control and didn’t know what was coming my way (how silly is that?) and while I’m still a bit anal and like order and planning (more loosely now), I’m learning to roll in a new way. Because let’s face it – I don’t know what’s coming my way with you. I can hope for a complete sleep or a good day at school for you, or a house that’s tidy and neat, but Shit Happens and things often don’t work out “as planned”. As happens in life. It’s sometimes terrifying, but pretty cool most of the time.

Shew.

Love Mom

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One response to “Cruise control”

  1. To Love Bella says :

    HERE HERE! I always HAD to be in control. Always HAD to know what was coming. Didn’t do spontaneity – unless it was in advance! And then my baby girl came along and blew all that apart. And taught me that it’s OK to be a little late / unorganised / messy….. These little people in our lives are SUCH incredible beings!!

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